Mental Effervescence

Mental bootcamp: staying on an island for eight weeks. Two down, six to go. There is a steady flux of interesting individuals on the island, but I am really going to miss some of the people I have come to know really well already who are leaving soon. Pre-emptive loneliness is not a nice feeling.

Just looking back at some of my posts, I can see that I have gotten through some big things. But I need more reflection, because in some ways I am perhaps too different from where I was a year ago.

So growing up is rather stressful. It’s funny how it affects some people more strongly. I have come to be haunted by stark realizations of life. I need to relocate my satisfaction.

Taking note of the first things to come to mind that genuinely excite me, the things that inspire that passion that makes me want to babble because I want to talk but am trying to say a million different things, that passion that makes me tear with the wonder of it all, that passion that makes me vibrate with delight.

- Her.

- Top tier food, most definitely including dessert.

- Trying to identify the most number of birds by sight and sound in 24 hours.

- Anticipating the arrival of the rest of my instrument, although it probably won’t be for years.

- Alternative energy technologies that can seamlessly slip into the structure of society for the benefit of all.

I don’t think I have ever heard, or ever expected to hear, something quite as significant as I heard today. I feel more special than I ever thought possible.

All-day headache. Not only did it feel like my brain was being sliced in half, but also my motivation. I now notice when physical illness starves the imagination. I came down with a fortunately much-abbreviated version of the flu a few months back, during applications. I can only imagine dealing with something longer lasting. It could have completely rerouted the entire course of my life.

I think almost every day I consciously note that I am grateful for my well-being. Any problem with your body is a problem with your vehicle of being. It only seems fragile post facto.